School closes and summer begins. We all anticipate making beautiful memories filled with phenomenal moments. The last week of school you dream about what will come out of those three months and how much fun you will have with all of your new friends. At least, that is what my thought process has been. You see, before my freshmen year, I spent my last three years in the back room of my mom's children store only thinking about school and, well, quite honestly I have kind of forgotten that part of me. It was only a year ago, but everything changed so quickly-everything shifted, but one thing stayed true- my purpose. I still had my eyes focused on my Savior, Jesus Christ. I knew God had something planned from the beginning of freshmen year. It was hard- coming back to public school and starting high school. And I know my personality didn't exactly reflect what I truly intended, but I always tried to keep in mind why I was where I was.
So many things are swirling in my head, Lord.... so many thoughts and views. Show me what you are trying to tell me. Speak to my heart and make all of this clear. I need you most.
So summer started and I began working at my Dad's clinic. Everything has seemed busy. I haven't exactly began fulfilling the intentions I have had about this summer. I mean, I know perfectly well that we are only two weeks deep in summer, but something is just digging at my heart.
Lord, just give me the words.
It is easy to become part of this world, but as God's children we are told to stand out, to shine His light. I want to do just that, but the world around us tempts and throws lies at us. This week, as I said earlier, has been busy with me starting my job at my Dad's clinic. For the last few days I have drifting away from God and my studying His word. It's only been a few days, but I don't even feel....me. Some thoughts have been whirling around in my head.... worldly things and views. I guess is the way to put it. Anyways, it was just earlier today that all of a sudden I had this feeling or moment of realization. Without Christ we are truly nothing. I have been really excited about cheer ever since I found out I made the squad. I pray that I won't put on the familiar "fake cheerleader smile", but instead show a joy that makes people curious-makes people wonder what makes me different. And then I would be able to share with them about who gives the ultimate fulfillment and happiness that you feel deep inside your soul, because that does exist through God. I know that for a fact and it is what I hunger for every moment of every day. But we live in an evil, fallen world that doesn't want us to be happy or content. It lures us in paths that seem fun and risky, ways that we should follow so we can "have something stupid to share with our grandkids." However, it leads to regrets and ungodliness. Those people may look like they are having the time of their lives, but in reality, they are empty and looking for something that will satisfy and fill the gaps. To get to the point, I have been excited about many different things that I know will unfold in the next few months, but I have started looking it through a different perspective-slowly. And I finally got hit with the fact that I am not even excited anymore- those plans and things mean nothing if I don't have God walking right beside me. I want him to control my life and along the way he will bless me. I know if I don't have Him walking with me I will miss out on all the beauty that He enables you to see through His eyes. I won't have true happiness. I want to grow into a wise strong woman who loves with a true love, only found in her Savior. I want to leave a legacy when I leave high school and be available for God to use me in whatever ways He chooses. And he is waiting for you to do the same. He waits with open arms and I promise you He will bless you and love you like no one else. He created you and knows you better than anyone else. And most of all, He will never leave you. I hope that we all at some point find our way to God's arms and find true happiness that isn't of this world- but much better, because there is someone much greater, my Lord is much greater.
I love you, Lord. All of me wants all of you-always.