Thursday, May 19, 2016

Wrapping & Stirring

Jesus, You are stirring my heart still now. I ask for the words to say and that my heart and mind would be so genuine in all I say. 

This morning I finished my junior year. I wrapped up all my final responsibilities and headed back home for some quite time on my bed with my Bible. 
It has been the hardest year for me personally. And I could write to you about all the lessons that I have learned as I have walked through this hard season with my relationship with Christ and how now it all makes sense and that I have it all together, but that isn't what God is calling me to at all and would be just selfish on my part. So let me explain.. 

I came across a picture on my Instagram feed yesterday that was posted by the Women of Faith account. The picture had a saying that read, 

"My brokenness is a better bridge for people than my pretend wholeness ever was."

Oh goodness, how that hit my heart. You see, I have gotten in a habit of thinking that whenever God starts leading my through something hard that the rewards will be sharing with others what I have learned. And I think that is definitely a blessing, but the way I was seeing that was very prideful on my part. This year, I began putting this pressure on myself and convincing myself that in order to be a witness to those around me, I had to look like I had it all together. I felt like if they saw that I was struggling to have peace and joy through this time that I was letting God down on me shining for Him. 
All of this pressure began to snowball until I felt so defeated and discouraged, I had lost all grasp of the truth of God's grace and comfort. So God began comforting and convicting my heart as a read over that post again.. 

Daughter, don't you see? Your testimony and witness is your brokenness... is Your weakness and tiredness because then they can see my strength and comfort working through you. 

So this week I have been in the process of coming to the feet of Jesus and reminding myself that He is right there with me in every moment- in my weakness and brokenness He still has an oh so perfect plan and everything I need is right there in His presence. 

But I would also like to share with you what I read in my Bible this morning that just overwhelmed and stirred my heart and is still even now. I was reading in the first chapter of John and would like to share with you a few of the verses. 

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being. In Him was life, and the life wathe Light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.
The truth of Jesus Christ was planned from the beginning of time when God created the earth. And in His timing, God gave us Himself by coming and dying on the cross for all our wrongs and failures. He gave us the truth of who He is so that we may could have life and darkness and sin will NEVER overpower the life that Jesus brought my heart six years ago. Gracious, just the simply truth of these verses began stirring my heart. 
12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, 13 who were [i]born, not of [j]blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.
I have so easily lost sight of the single fact that whenever I accepted Jesus into my heart, I became His daughter forever. I am safe forever. I am protected forever. God came full of grace and truth. 

14 And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of [l]the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth...
16 For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace. 17 For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ. 
He mended my efforts with His complete strength and wisdom, my brokenness with His wholeness, and my fear of sinning and failing with His ultimate triumph over darkness. 

I just wanted to share with you how Jesus is stirring all of these truths in my heart as I close my junior year and I hope it encouraged you towards Jesus and the fullness in Him that stirs Your heart with wholeness, love, and peace. And that it is okay to be broken and a little discouraged, because it is then that God's strength can move in the mightiest of ways. It's okay to be in the middle, to be in the process of growing, and just working on being completely surrendered to Jesus, especially on mornings when you wrap one season up and He stirs your heart to the next.

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